Of the two Chambers of the National Assembly, the one that amuses me more is the House of Representatives. It is not as if the Senate (of Distinguished?) lawmakers can be separated from the same amusing disposition. In fact, from my estimation, both Chambers comprise members many serious-minded Nigerians have come to underscore as not very keen about the true situation of things around less privileged Nigerians.
When Nigeria’s reigning Queen of African pop music, Omawumi dropped her Bottom Belle album last year; it received immediate positive reviews from the formal and informal audience. Till date, pop music lovers relish the lyrics of the chart buster just to cool their hearts.
Omawumi’s exploits here also reminds one of the inroads made by Nollywood’s Nkem Owoh in his I go chop your dollar. The impact and import of the song on his audience was legendry; even with the unconfirmed ban by Nigeria Video Censor Board. Till date, whenever I go chop your dollar or its various remix versions are played in pub houses, the audience response and participation is spontaneous.
But sadly enough, both Bottom Belle and I go chop your dollar appear to be the twin-songs our lawmakers at Abuja enjoy most of the catalogue of songs released by our teeming musical talents in the land. The reason is not far-fetched.
Last February, I was privileged to discuss developments in one of the Chambers with a member of same legislature. We were out unwinding at a popular Abuja spot when the discussion drifted to lawmakers, nationhood and extracurricular activities. I asked him whether his colleagues are not bothered by the negative perception Nigerians have of them; the reports about their terrible whiff for money, absenteeism; bench warming, lasciviousness and the like.
Shockingly, the lawmaker cut me short midway and took serious exception to the allegation of lewdness. Hear him: “even you wey dey talk so, u go say u nor like better thing? After all our talk, talk for there, what do you expect from us at our free hours? Not that we do anything extraordinary with these ladies. Apart from going to wine, dine and occasionally dance Bottom Belle or I go chop your dollar with them, we don’t do any other thing with them. How many you think say we fit carry? Abeg leave that matter”.
I could not help but wonder, even as we skipped that issue to others without prompting from any quarter. I guess street wisdom which we both have in abundance informed us individually to move on to other matters.
And I could not help but to recall that evening with my friend, the lawmaker, during the week when news filtered in that members of the House of Representatives were giving a Bill aimed at making it easy for the impeachment of a president or his deputy.
My first wonder was whether the lawmakers are well guided enough to realise that they were unto some misadventure which will add to the odium many members of the public hold them. Then, I asked myself if they were grounded enough on the constitutional provision and the processes of amending sections of the sacred people’s document. Could it be an idea that sprang forth from one of their Bottom Belle or I go chop your dollar dancing competition? Do they realise what kind of heat any attempt at applying any such simplified constitutional provision to sack a federal or state executive will cause?
And as I was still wondering, I realised too that the first issue the lawmakers ought to have visited if they are really the people’s elected representatives is the review of the tough processes for the recall of lawmakers by stakeholders in their communities.
In a dispensation where after recurring sessions of Bottom Belle and I go chop your dollar dances, spiced by related behaviours that follow such gatherings, only handful of lawmakers, especially in the House of Representatives, make it the next day to plenary session, it should have been incumbent on the leadership of the House to first attempt to remove the log of wood in members eyes before looking across the common fence that separates the National Assembly and Aso Rock.
If the truth must be told, absenteeism and bench warming remains the hallmark of the House. And thus it beats the imagination of many as to how they find time to effectively represent their constituencies.
The remark of a fellow Nigerian on Facebook immediately after the Bill referred to above scaled the second reading in the National Assembly suffices here; perhaps: Our House of Representatives is peopled by very clueless characters. Instead of tackling serious issues, they want to fine tune impeachment procedure. They don’t think the case should b referred to the Chief Justice who will set up a panel. The sponsor, Yakubu Dogara (hardly attends plenary) wants the House to accuse you and set up panel and sack you….lol… They want to be the accuser and judge. Majority Leader, Adeola-Akande says “you can’t be the accuser and the judge “Gbajabiamila says ‘I will very quickly shoot down the bill because the timing is wrong; we must be mature. Why not just amend the meaning of misconduct. “Anyway this might be another scam aimed at getting Ghana-must-go bags….”
As if the collective insult we got from the Bottom Belle and dollar chopping lawmakers was not enough, the presiding Speaker of the day, Emeka Ihedioha seemingly acted out a script written by some geniuses whose sole ambition as it turned out to be, was to prepare a platform to embarrass the Executive branch of government; at the whims and caprices.
Today, there is no such power for them to ease a president out of office and yet they have long abandoned their constitutional schedules for some dubious roles. What happens when they become so empowered is better imagined because the hangover of Bottom Belle and I go chop your dollar dances can be so far reaching that a lawmaker can invoke such a constitutional provision if ever passed.
But thank God that they do not have the sole mandate to amend the constitution.
That many reasonable members of the House of Representatives walked out of Ihedioha’s House that day underscores one fact, and that is: Ihedioha and whoever’s script he presided over are trying to stand reason, logic and common sense on their heads all at once.
Nigerians must tell them that the weapon of blackmail they are contriving in the name of constitutional amendment will fail. It is not in the interest on Nigeria, fellow Nigerians and our democracy. It is Dead on Arrival.